An infant is born with a large degree of predetermined temperment and personality. We as parents mold, refine and shape the rough protoplasm of our children’s genetic predispositions. In addition, we influence the outcome of our children’s overall construct with our own personality tendencies and styles.
Recently a self-aware, mature and accomplished mother questioned her own ability to set limits with her third and final child. She openly admitted difficulty in defining boundaries as she battled the notion that he was her last “baby”.
I reassured her that she could overcome this experience by validating her sense of loss while balancing it against her responsibilty of objectively parenting her soon to be kindergartener.
As part of his visit, I requested a urine sample. He was not able to “provide” such a sample prior to me entering the room. His mother repeatedly inquired into his ability to “pee into a cup” however he consistently replied with a polite “no thank you.”
As his mother prepared to leave the office, she needed to use the washroom. Unprompted, the 5 year-old presented the specimen cup to his mother and asked her to provide his urine sample. His mother erupted in laughter. She looked at one of my staff members and said, “I have done everything possible for this child and now he thinks I should provide his urine sample.” Expectations start very young. It’s up to each parent to determine when they draw the line in the sand.
I love our humanity,